Movie Review Time!

So, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

Well, it's a prequal, meaning it doesn't have much of a stroy to tell. Rise of the Lycans (ROTL) details the story of how Lucian met... that, um, vampire girl, Whatsherface and knocked her up. It also details the Rise of the Lycans as a society/race which came as a huge surpise to me and the rest of the theatre, because we honestly didn't see it coming. I'll tell you another thing it details: Gore.
There's so much blood on screen you feel like your playing Gears of War or Painkiller, and I swear they spent half the budget on what I like to call 'Blood Physics', essentially how blood reacts when it's gushing out of a severed neck or, for example, cleaved head, or maybe a ruptured torso.

And it seems they spent so much money on the blood effects that they completly forgot to hire a script writer and instead got one of the producers children to write it. All the characters come across as wooden, mainly due to the atrocious diliverance of the lines. And clearly the actors weren't exactly 'in the zone', because the only real performance for me was from Bill Nighy, and even that's arguable. Oh sure, Michael Sheen was good and Rhona Mitra was tolerable but everyone else could have easily been replaced with CGI or a cardboard cutout with blood gushing out of it.
(Note: THis was written at 10:30 and posted now.)